I know I’m an hour early.

I’m going to fall asleep so I’m not tempted to be the first person to tell you happy birthday like I was for the past three years… 

I’d always try so hard to make it special for you. You were raised without holidays, without warmth, without celebration of your life, and I wanted more than anything to give you some of that back. You never thought your birthday was a big deal- you forgot it half of the time. But I never let you forget it. I’d cook for you, I’d make you cards, get you gifts, told you how amazing I thought you were- I’d do everything I could to make you feel special.

Because I wanted to show you how loved you were.

And despite that, you’re still letting me get away…

… I sincerely hope you have a good birthday. I really do.

I wonder if you’ll be aware of how much I’m going to be trying to get you out of my mind…